journey to emotions

I started a journey long while ago,with love, trust and you. I always thought before you, lover has a power to fill positivity in life. someone with whom dreams seems to be easy, achievable. I woke up next to you every morning but now it felt distant between us. when we met remember we was two persons looking for support, sex and love— oppsii sex !! But you know that we crazy and crave for each other madly, wow!! a lot more but mean time, I am sure fight makes us stronger individually but weaken our relationship. Getting back from where we started where you and me no longer us. And being honest I love it like that maybe love messed up a person little but sometimes it also give a reality check that you enough to handle anything and in a legitimate  manner it's better, awesome and clear without you.

Somewhere down in my heart I know you are not for me. I am a option  for you and you are a dream for me . I am just a person who wants confusion in her life, A unclear feeling for someone without knowing what he really wants from me a feeling that can destroy me inside and out and knowing the fact I am not good enough for him ,he deserve better . I don't justify why would I want to be in this mess of emotions, a state where I am not in control a situation where I don't want to think about it but I am thinking about it I don't know where it become real where it find a way to my heart where I always alone with my thoughts I don't label this emotion as love but this is not friendship anymore. I have butterflies in my stomach weird feeling in my head and a sensation of strange feeling all over me taking me in control . I Know you deserve better ,I know I am not good enough and I also know it never works out between us. When I were explaining you about my feelings I not